Thursday, December 08, 2005

ruminating on the thunderbolt

in response to all the blogs and messageboards i've had the pleasure of reading over the past few days:

i've heard it's like flies on a screen door. the ones that are out can't wait to get in. and the ones that are in can't wait to get out.

if you think about grass being greener on some other side, wouldn't that be because of more water? more tending? or maybe better fertilizer? you know what fertilizer's characteristic ingredient is, right?

the best things come to those who wait, they say. is that so? ask the people who were so busy waiting that they forgot to go out and seize the day. the year. the decade. their life.

but wait - it happens when you're not looking for it, right? the trick is to shrug it off, stop looking and then one day, like with michael corleone in the hills of sicily, it just happens - the thunderbolt. or so i've heard.

is there a such thing as shrugging it off too hard? some people say they are taking a break to get themselves together - get their mind right, reexamine their stance so they can be ready... mm hmm. that's code for, i'm trying to make it look like i'm chilling on purpose since i don't want to admit that i don't know what i'm doing, or what to do if i find it. not that i don't respect that stance - just call it what it is. you mean to tell me that when the thunderbolt busts you in your chest, you're going to say, "not right now... i'm trying to find myself?" HA! and i repeat, HA!

and HA! indeed to those who think that you're entitled - that the universe owes you, in fact - a thunderbolt of your own. i beg to differ. this world owes you nothing. you got here naked and alone, and have done nothing but usurp resources ever since you got here. if the thunderbolt happens, consider yourself blessed and highly favored, and take care what you do with it once you get it.

and if you get it, do the rest of the poor saps a favor by respecting what you have. don't go around complaining all the time, provoking arguments all the time, taking folks for granted, sabotaging it because of your lack of faith. it just discourages the other folks who are watching you to see if your grass is indeed greener, and further convinces them of your need to spread ever-increasing amounts of sh- ah, fertilizer, to make your grass look like something out of this world when it fact, it's really still just earth, and it's really still just grass.

i wonder if flies communicate in some secret fly language we can't hear? i can't imagine that they do. otherwise, why would they cling to the screen, longing to be let over to the other side? perhaps if they tried to learn from each other, they would realize that either way, you got to work.

that is, it takes work to stay enchanted after the thunderbolt. doesn't matter how good it feels at first. with time comes trial. with trial comes the need to stay encouraged and diligent at preserving that thing you were praising God for when you were blessed with it. likewise, it takes work to stay encouraged in its absence - especially in the face of a society that tries its best to hold on to antiquated notions of happiness that dictate that bliss comes with no less than the picket fence surrounding that green grass, a golden retriever, two and a half offspring, and that very special someone. that's some straight up fertilizer, let me tell you. shoot, forget me - ask those who are in an attorney's office with dissolution papers or chapter 7/11/13 papers, or filling their anti-depressant prescription at the drug store, or talking it out in weekly appointments a la tony trying to relax, relate, and release...

find your happiness where ever you stand. find your fulfillment where ever you stand. if circumstances change - if the screen door swings open - fly off to meet your destiny with hope, caution, and a resolve to make the best of it, wherever you wind up. but worry about your own grass. and stop trying to play chri.stopher l.loyd and let the thunderbolt jolt you when and if it does. worst case scenario? at least you have a wonderful lawn and (hopefully) no anti-depressant prescription, cause you were too busy creating happiness for yourself where ever you stood. that's what i'm trying to do... my guess is that the more time i spend outside tending to my own grass, the greater the chances i'll get hit by the thunderbolt.