can i just say that i am doing this under protest? unsaid tagged me. and i don't even like this meme, 'cause i don't want anyone to think this is an exhaustive list, or that they have the golden ticket, even if they have everything on it. but i like to think of myself as a good sport. and perhaps i may have fun writing it, so here goes:
1. crazy. anyone dealing with me must be at least marginally able to relate to my craziness. because a crazy person and a sane person... something tells me that ain't necessarily a good match. i suddenly feel compelled to clarify that i have not ever been diagnosed with a mental illness, nor have i been prescribed drugs for maintaining mental stability, nor have i been institutionalized. i'd pretty much prefer run-of-the-mill, garden-variety craziness. you know, the kind that won't bat an eye if i decide to (in the middle of an august day, after coming home from the grocery store, and leaving the groceries on the counter) put on a char.lie br.own chri.stmas album by vi.nce g.uaraldi, and jump up and down on the bed to li.nus and lu.cy for absolutely no reason. that kind of crazy.
2. patient. he'll have to have patience. lots of patience. 'cause this smile will only get me so far. i take after my father, which means not only am i longwinded, but in an ironic twist of genetic cruelty, i simultaneously lack the patience to deal with others' plodding along. my perfect lover would know how to keep my attention, would recognize exactly when to zone out and just say mm hmm, and on the flip, he would also know exactly when to actually pay attention. 'cause if he thinks he's going to shut me up, there's only one way to do that... and you can't just do that any and every place any and every time. oh yeah - let's not forget my many flaws, which i won't name here. let it suffice to say that i've got some, and he needs to have the patience to learn what they are and deal with them, and be patient with me as i try to deal with his.
3. intelligent. (really this shoulda been number one on the list, but these are in no particular order). i like the smart guy. i've always liked the smart guy - the guy who can hold his own in a debate with me, or who can teach me something new. and not just intelligent, either. 'cause not just any intelligence will do. i don't just mean the ability to regurgitate facts in a single bound. i mean, can he reason, apply, synthesize? does he have knowledge that isn't printed between two covers, like the kind i got from growing up where i did? can he express his intelligence well - with confidence (not arrogance), or with cleverness? which reminds me -
4. confident. let me just say what i DON'T mean by confidence. i don't mean rudeness, delusions of grandeur, an utter lack of modesty, a blind eye to reality... no, none of that. what i'm getting at is, is he comfortable with who he is? does he know who he is? when he questions himself, is it according to his standards, or someone else's? is he afraid to take chances? is he afraid (mind you, i didn't say mindful, i said afraid) of what i, or any other people, think of him? does he have faith in his own ability to reason well and make good decisions? does he literally stand at his full stature? 'cause i have confidence and i have little patience for folks who don't have it. to me, confidence is a form of power. (and, i'm sure i'll say this again, i love power in a man!)
5. funny. i love to laugh. i'm not very funny myself. but wit is like intelligence's cuter, sexier cousin. people have different senses of humor, too. for example, the show fra.sier is funny. also, the show mar.tin is funny. but those shows are funny in two different ways. my perfect lover's humor would tickle my eagerness to laugh.
6. moving. or in other words, openminded/amenable to change/ambitious. in my life, stagnancy is not an option. i like to rearrange my furniture. my dreams for myself for the future have themes rooted in lifelong aspirations, but the details change as circumstances and life experience require them to. lately, i've been trying new foods like i'm searching for a cure for boredom. i'll listen to what an enemy has to say if it's interesting enough, even though i don't agree. i question authority and accepted knowledge. this is a big world, and ruts of thinking and living are just not for me. new stuff is cool. defying expectation is fun. and there's a lot to discover. i can't be getting the screwface from my man for living the fullest, freest life i can. if anything, he should be curious, and inquisitive, and be wilin' out and moving somewhere right along with me. 'cause i won't be staying still.
7. able to discern boundaries. but i have home training. and i know my limits. and i respect wisdom, when i'm blessed enough to recognize it for what it is. there's a time for irreverence and a time to be humble. people have boundaries that need to be respected - i do too. i'm not a loose cannon - all my rhyming has reason. and his should, too.
8. creative! creative people are just more interesting. that's all there is to it. one of the things i love the most about myself is that i've always been creative. i appreciate artsy stuff. something painted, drawn, crafted. something written. something composed and played. i find the creative process sacred (put your open-minded cap on for this. ready?), like a manifestation of love. i love to see the creative process in action. i love to see talent in a person. and (don't tell nobody) i use creative people. their energy feeds me. i'm kinda like those little birdies that lived on the
9. affectionate. i love to be touched. hugged. kissed. held. not on "mookie, it's too hot" days, or not if he needs a shower, and not all the time... but often. my perfect lover delights in holding my hand and kissing me for no reason when noone can tease him for acting all sweet (and maybe even sometimes in front of others!) he likes the moan he elicits from me when he massages my scalp. he likes that i like to kiss him everywhere he'll let me. but he also knows i'm physically affectionate because he makes love to my spirit, by actually believing in me, appreciating having me in his life, sharing (not everything but) everything he feels comfortable sharing with me, letting me know that i'm wanted in his space and important in his life.
10. possesses that other thing. you know, the thing noone can really describe, 'cause it comes in so many shapes and sizes. so many different voices. so many different walks and swaggers. sometimes i don't know it when i see it. but after getting to know someone i realize that he has it. that thing, where when you think of him, or if he calls in the middle of the day (close your eyes, kids) your love comes down. that thing, where when he gets near you, you feel like you're more at home than ever, no matter where you both are. that thing, that makes you want to go right home to him from work (or say #%@& it and just call out). that thing that makes you feel feminine and attractive. that thing... you know? the thing. the thing a man simply does or does not have? my perfect lover will have that thing. and i'ma love the hell out of it...