Friday, September 30, 2005

random - no... miscellaneous

without question, my favorite place to be this week has been in my car. with my cd spinning and me singing along. there is a peace and a safety that i feel in that small space filled with music that is unlike any other.

absence does not make the heart grow fonder. this is a big fat lie. absence makes my heart atrophy and tremble, on the real. there is nothing fond about the trepidation that absence causes because of the insecurity and the utter lack of satisfaction that comes from not being able to be there. i have a list of people i miss. and sometimes, it gets to me.

there has been no more flattering thing happen to me since i started sharing my poetry than to have poets whose artistry i admire and appreciate come to me and tell me that they liked my piece - or even better, that they want a copy. (which is funny, cause it's not like i got copies laying around or anything. i'm not that serious.) so far i owe copies of a few different poems to a few different people. if any of them are reading this, i'm sorry i haven't done it yet, please chalk it up to procrastination, but i haven't forgotten what i said i would do. (i wonder where the expression "chalk it up" comes from?)

putting your hands admiringly in someone's head and caressing their hair and their scalp is one of the most intimate acts i've ever experienced. i love it when it's done to me so much that when it's done in public, i feel a little guilt - like maybe it should be happening behind closed doors... and i love doing it to other people, most especially to the opposite sex, and particularly to a certain young man whose head i happen to really really care for, if for no other reason than that last night, i felt a little guilty in public under the caress of his fingertips... *ahem* (breathe in... breathe out... think of ice cubes, icebergs, popsic - no, uh - ice cream...) *sigh* okay, okay, i'm better...

i am opinionated by nature, upbringing, and training. and although i make every effort to keep it under control, sometimes my opinion crayon colors outside the lines of other people's boundaries. my bad. but i still like that trait about myself. i have a mind and i am not afraid to use it. if you have sensitive skin, maybe you should get the hell out of my way when you see me approaching the soapbox. we can be friends again after i step back down on the ground. i'm not always right. right is subjective, anyway. but something in me knows somehow that i couldn't live with myself if i didn't speak out. so i do, and i will.

i'm going to try not to procrastinate as much. it is my new october's resolution. i figure since i never have one in january (cause i think january is an arbitrary date to make a change), there is no time like the present to attempt to be a better glory. wow - that thought in and of itself is so anti-procrastination i feel like patting myself on the back. but i have miles to go before i sleep.

speaking of which, i plan to get a lot of sleep this weekend. we'll see how that goes with the whole trying-not-to-procrastinate thing...

have a blessed and happy weekend.