marooned

i could sit here and pretend that i am just a sweetheart and that i love everybody and all i want is sunshine and rainbows but that just wouldn't be honest. i am only sweetheart sometimes. other times i am controlling the impulse to seize certain people by their throat and shake them. so today, i have decided to name a few people who come to mind when i consider who i wouldn't mind sticking on a boat and marooning on some obscure pacific island indefinitely. i want them to sit down and stfu. i am either tired of seeing them, tired of hearing about them, tired of them acting stupid, or tired of trying to figure out why they are famous or noteworthy. this list is in no particular order.

bill o'reilly
the black lady in the ma.alox - or wait, is it ph.illips? - and sud.afed commercials who bosses her husband around and talks all loud about indigestion and farting and stuff
the black man who plays the shuffling clueless husband in those commercials
the black lady with the shower cap who is the honey bu.nches of oats mammy
the black lady who is the pin.e s.ol mammy
the black lady who bugs her eyes out for money
the women who make their asses clap on that bet late night video show
the director of programming at bet
nancy grace
yin yang twins
howard stern and robin shivers
paris hilton and nicole ritchie
michael jackson
dr. phil
omarosa manigault stallworth*
the d.c. snipers
anyone who has anything to say about that girl missing in aruba
anyone who has anything to say about jon benet ramsey
anyone who cares if o.j. did it or not
george w. bush
donald rumsfeld
condoleezza rice
r. kelly*
ja rule
ashanti
destiny's child
telemarketers*
spammers*
whoever decided that it makes sense to open 4 of the 18 registers at wa.lmart at any given time
whoever decided to keep building walma.rts with that many registers for decoration only
jesse jackson
al sharpton
drivers that don't get outta the way and to the right as they slow to turn right*
queer eye for the straight guy guys
adults that yank kids by their arms, or expect kiddie legs to move as fast as adult ones
adults who call children names
men who think it's ok to put their erection on your hindparts at a party or club*
sean combs
bullies
50 cent
clay aiken
that yelling stocks guy i click past on cable everyday
mike tyson
wendy williams

this list is subject to change without notice. i reserve the right to cuss any of the aforementioned folks out at will. those folks with asterisks are likely to get physically assaulted on sight.