Monday, January 09, 2006

weekend redux

call friend re: thing we talked about, leave message. deliver a poinsettia to auntie since she admired mine.




check on homeboy - he aight. reconnect with old friends. happy they remember me. reminiscing on that old praise and worship song from church. amazed at how much one can remember, years removed. spit two pieces before a new, younger audience. happy they listened. amused that they snapped their fingers for me, like massander. television is a trip! loving live music. loving children who are growing way too fast for my heart's preference.

late morning. try to shake off the confusing, against-everything-i-ever-thought-about-myself dream. write letter to the person i wake up thinking about. clarify my feelings about the attraction, realize it's not earth-shattering. get the brush off from homie and hope she's okay. run letter by other homegirl, decide against delivering it, but not against getting up the nerve to say something, despite mama's wisdom. swallow pride to call an ex to ask for help. glad i did. the

clarify feelings...

swallow pride...

things we do for friends. arrange, scrub, wash, aerate, incense, sweep, mop. repudiate laundry. nurse houseplants. cry involuntarily at the ending to the ma.n witho.ut a fa.ce. again. bond with homie. laugh hysterically at singers who don't know they sound like ce.phus and re.esie. kudos to anyone who understood the last sentence. watch baby move and change the shape of his amazed mama's womb. feel his dramatic shifting with my own hand. taken captive by the profundity of

taken captive

by the profundity

of life

this child's life and the divine engineering that makes this moment possible. thankful to mama for letting me feel her child dance. reject beans and rice in favor of taco salad. think of getting po.peye's biscuits too late. wish my mamanem didn't watch the news so much - worse than little kids when you let them watch scary movies. tell mom about elements of the master plan. encourage uncle to have faith. fix doorknob. remember that landlord is supposed to have replaced this door by now, get peeved with whole living situation, and then remember that i have a master plan. balance checkbook. coordinate master plan for financial dreams this year. watch and laugh at priv.ate parts and bo.ondocks. consider making cheddar biscuit mix that's stashed in the cupboard. fall asleep way too late.

another late morning. impromptu meeting, banana, turkey sandwich, share peanut butter and jelly sandwich ripped apart by baby. play with baby and her new toy. get more motivation to get my professional posterior in gear. repudiate laundry once again. make groceries: sugar, chicken, lettuce, n.illa wafers, bananas, spaghetti sauce, milk, stockings, d.ome simplified home budget

share pb&j


book. mad that a fill up costs $30. wonder why gas went down loudly to $1.60 some'um and then whispered itself back up to $2.20? wonder why the lady is so unfriendly. tired? hopefully. fix egg noodles extraordinaire. fix sommore sweet tea (can't be without it.) gotta pick up sommore hot sauce. notice my brand is made in nawlins. wonder if the factory is still there. stumble upon i hear.t hu.ckabees on cable. glad i didn't cut the cable off. gotta buy this movie. reminded me of my friend the existentialist. jud.e la.w's american accent is pretty decent. quee.n latifah on br.avo's ac.tors s.tudio. so proud of her. not sure i'll see the movie, but isn't my baby daddy from another lifetime just as scrumptious as he wanna be in the trailers? *sigh* feel the pulse of lifeblood through a vein in my neck by chance. feel the same amazement that i did when i felt the baby moving in his mama. recognize how precious life is. again. clean fridge. more dishes. hungry. no snacks. doggonit. aha! remember that i have chocolate chips and cookie ingredients on hand. after all that mixing and egg cracking and beating my right arm tired, eat only two of the dozen and a half cookies, and freeze remaining dough. proud to be able to tell future guests the cookies in my jar are homemade. reflect on the coziness and



in the kitchen

warmth of my kitchen. realize i've spent most of the weekend there. realize that the whole day passed without me feeling lonely because enjoying my own company was enough. happy cause i needed the mental break from stresses i have. consider going into the office early tomorrow. line dance alone in the kitchen along with the radio's broadcast of but.terball and the oldheads at the club. resolve to handle laundry monday night. resolve to call other homie tomorrow while tackling laundry. blog really late with te.mple jazz radio in the background. give myself 50/50 chance of making it in early. postpone breaking in the new budget aka master-plan/take-over-the-world book. beat myself up for being late on my deadline and resolve to apologize and make amends by the time i sleep tomorrow. try to ignore developing headache.

review the blog entry. looks boring. decide not to apologize for it, 'cause the truth is what it is, and you never know what things people may be able to find value in...