Thursday, January 12, 2006


i sat here for what seemed a small eternity, massaging my scalp and letting my mind wander, trying to figure out what to write. i find that trying to blog about something everyday will increase my confidence in my ability to always be creative. i mulled over a few interesting things going on in my life and psyche, only to shoot them down one by one because they would each take too much energy from me. i found little in those ideas to motivate me to write. my eyes were closed, fingers poised on the keyboard... i opened my eyes and my gaze fell one of the pictures in my room. suddenly, i was inspired.

the picture is by laverne ross, entitled angel wings. it features several women with beautiful chocolate skin, dancing barefoot on the their toes in light flowing garments against a backdrop full of shadowy lavenders and the magenta that knows sunsets intimately. there's something about the almost tangible motion in the picture. it's like i was there - watching the women raise their arms silently, solemnly, gracefully into air that is sweetened with the perfume of their soft movement. it speaks to me - to the part of me that perpetually longs to dance.

i hadn't been out of school and working very long when i decided to buy the picture. i was on a

i am reminded of the

purity of spirit

tight budget and i couldn't buy it when i first saw it displayed in the shop. but i knew i had to have it, the moment i saw it. i may not believe in love at first sight for men, but i do for art. i saved my money, went to the store, and bought the painting for myself as a present, to treat myself to "life after school." i was so proud to have purchased this, my first framed art, for myself. i hung the picture myself and just stared at it - the colors and shades captured me and i allowed myself to get lost in the dream of the picture. i am reminded of the purity of spirit with which one seeks the peace of the Creator, when you settle down to pray, when you enter the church and smell that church smell, when the family holds hands and gets quiet right before the food is blessed, and even more, i am reminded of the pregnant hum of an orchestra, right before the performance. their tentative suspension in the middle of their dance lends the spirit of these dancers so much promise...

i need to see something that has that effect on me when i wake in the morning. on the one side of

they dance for me

my bed, i have sunshiny windows and a vase of bright green bamboo sticks... on the other, there is my dance ensemble, speaking to my soul with no words. every day, they dance for me.

and some days, i dance for myself. i dance to no music, or the music playing in the

no obstacles to the

movement of my feet

soundtrack of my head, or the music on my stereo. i love that i am a functionalist when it comes to furniture - i have no coffee table or unnecessary obstacles to the inevitable, joyful movement of my feet, from room to room i go, mimicing dancers i've seen, from soul train to church aisles to the ballet to african dance ensembles. i lend my whole body to the expression of spirit within me. sometimes for release. often for fun. and sometimes even in meditation and prayer. it is release and inspiration that i need very much in this world where the death of the inner spirit is so pervasive that you have to keep vigil over your own, every day, however you can.

when my mind thinks about all of the issues i face, and all of the problems i

i see


perceive (like some of those blog topics i thought about but didn't have the energy to tackle), sometimes the easiest way to deal with it is to dance. the release lends itself to a feeling of freedom. when i see these dancers, i see freedom. i remember the peace that comes from letting go and sacrificing my body and mind to the pulse of life within me that yearns for expression through dance. i'm glad that when i don't have the time or energy, these angel winged muses/sisters/versions of myself are able to do it for me, and my spirit is still fed.