Wednesday, January 25, 2006

time to move

i was on the way to work tuesday morning. i walked out the door, and before i realized what was happening, my left leg slipped out from underneath my body, and i literally hit the deck. splat. my first thought was the neighbor's cat, that has been camped outside my upstairs neighbor's door (and mine - we share a deck) ever since her cat allergy flared up. the cat is supposedly going to be given away, but


everytime i see my neighbor, it's later, later, later. in the meantime, the kitty has been leaving its poop where she pleases when her owner doesn't properly clean up after her, and the last time i slipped on this deck is because poop has that effect when wedged between shoes and a wooden surface. i lay there on my left side, worried. am i hurt? will i be late to work? did i dirty up my oufit? is there isht on me? i fought back tears, which were welling up more for the fact that i'd fallen than because of the pain i felt. i hated feeling as small and vulnerable as i did at that moment.

i realized, while trying to get up, that the whole deck was slippery. it wasn't the cat, i realized. she, having watched me fall, looked at me from the landing above, leaning down and staring as if to say, "daaaaaaaammmnnnn! you aight?" there was black ice all over the deck, but no salt, and no mats (the cat had pooped on my old one and on the replacement her owner had bought me). i struggled to get up and stand. so far so good. should i call out of work? no - i took a sick day last week. should i go to the emergency room to make sure i'm okay? i don't want to sit there all day, miss work, and deal with the co-pay. let's see how getting through the day will go. i limped gingerly down the flight of stairs to the car, eased my way in booty first like my very pregnant best friend has been doing lately, and drove to work, tears still smarting in my eyes. my hip and my knee were tender.

i limped into work, spiritual tail between my legs. i slouched onto my right cheek while sitting, so as to alleviate any pressure on my left side. wow, living

what i look like, a old person?

like an old person with arthritis sucks. i am not looking forward to walking this slow and coddling my every movement as a rule one day
. throughout the day, more symptoms of the fall kept popping up. lower back pain. shoulder pain. shooting pain through my thigh. i figured, let me just go home and rest.

"i fell down."
"when? where?"
"on the ice on the deck this morning."
"are you okay? did you hurt anything?"
"i'm fine, dad, i mean i have some aches, but my body still can walk and stuff."
"you got to be more careful."
"dad, it was black ice, i couldn't see it. i didn't know it was there."
"you need to soak in some epsom salt or you'll hurt worse tomorrow."
"what i look like, a old person? i ain't got no epsom salt! i got some alcohol though."
"well that might help... soak in some hot water with the alcohol. make sure you warm that place up though before your bath, you can't soak if it's cold in there, and it stays too cold in there."
"i know... i will..."

later, i turned the water on to draw a bath. i checked it halfway - though the setting was on hot, the water was coming out cold. there's no way all the hot water is gone! arrrrggggghhhh!!! there's alcohol and softening salt wasted. i drained the tub. by the time the water would be hot again, the water in the tub would be frigid. damn. back to the drawing board.

i waited a few hours for more water to heat up and then tried again. the hot water lasted longer this time, but i happened to walk in just as the water was turning


yellow. not pretty. determined to lessen wednesday's pain, i just turned off the faucet and boiled some more water in a big stockpot on the stove to mix in with the tub water. ridiculous. but effective. i used my space heater to heat up the bathroom to tropical, lit some candles, and soaked, somewhat uncomfortably in the shallow alcohol solution. during my soak, i thought about the house i want to live in, and how nice it would be for me to be the only one to point fingers at if i didn't like my living situation. no upstairs or downstairs neighbors. no wayward cats. no miscellaneous poop. no come-when-i-feel-like-it landlord...

i could feel each and every pain more distinctly after the bath. at last count, my left shoulder blade hurts, the space between my shoulder blades hurts, and my left forearm, lower left ribs, my left hip, the side of my left thigh, my left knee, and my left ankle are all refusing to let go of what happened this morning. my back is uncomfortable at any posture. at my mom's suggestion, i may go to get checked out sometime wednesday, especially if i feel worse after the night's inactivity, or if my mobility is hemmed up. we shall see.

thank God for month-to-month leases and first time homebuyer programs.

one day, this story will be funny.