Wednesday, November 09, 2005


my hero... my best friend... she dropped what she was doing cause she heard the foreboding tone in my voice. she listened to my subdued, sullen words as they grew harder and angrier and then pained and choked with liquid sorrow. my issue, an issue that she is only one of a select group of trusted few to know about, had managed in its characteristic fashion to unexpectedly intrude uninvited upon what was otherwise a peaceful day. i needed some ears to absorb the blow of all the emotion which was sure to follow. i needed someone to witness the sound of my tears streaming down this forlorn face, to witness the sound of my sniffles, the sound of my futile attempts to control the mucus and salt water that made me grieve for the woman who produced them.

sometimes you need to know someone is listening.

she listened. she put on her it's-okay tone and ministered to me with its concern. she patiently encouraged me through silence and the occasional word of support to continue to talk it out, let it flow, honestly, in all of its raw ugliness. she told me that she understood. she didn't admonish me when the tears stopped flowing and i tried to pretend by giggling that the floodgate of powerful emotions hadn't just broken loose. she let me know without saying so that my emotions didn't make me weak, didn't make me anything other than human, didn't make my imperfections or mistakes or feelings anything other than a reality that could be dealt with. i needed a hug, and she wanted to hug me, but we were on the phone, so i had to settle for continuing to talk until my emotions came back down to a manageable equilibrium. she and i talked until i didn't remember why i called her in the first place, until i did remember but didn't feel the same rage and sorrow that prompted me to break down, until i didn't mind getting off the phone and being left with the silence that was left after the click. i understand now why it's good that emergency personnel stay on the phone with callers even after the appropriate units have been dispatched. sometimes you just need to know someone is listening. i thank God my best friend was listening. i love her for it.