Monday, February 06, 2006

working with it

somebody asked me last tuesday how i was doing. that question always tickles me because it's become more like a standard greeting than it is a sincere query... shoot, i'm guilty of doing that myself. so whenever i'm asked how i'm doing, i always toss around in my head whether or not i want to be honest or go with the flow and give the standard alrightandyou. that time, i decided to be honest, gave it some thought, and replied with something like, "i'm working with it." kind of took him by surprise, but i think he felt where i was coming from. i liked it. that could soon become my standard response to howyoudoing - i'm working with it. since that's the truth, more often than not. i got circumstances. i be dealing wid 'em. more often than not, i'm not simply, "fine," or "alrightandyou?"

anyway, this weekend was kinda like that. it wasn't a bad weekend. i'd planned on getting in some personal time, time for reflection, time for writing, time for preparing for my upcoming poetry feature. didn't exactly happen like that, what with the new baby being here and all. then, there were two friends' birthdays i wanted to celebrate, the superbowl happened, the movie something new happened, and i just couldn't say no to all of that. so i got a lot done, so far as keeping up with friends and supporting the movie as i'd planned, and some other little housekeeping matters. but there were other things i didn't get done, like spend some time writing... and some other housekeeping matters. add that to the fact that there were things on my mind, and with all my running there are still some phone calls i need to return, and still some running i can see coming up over the horizon, and i know i'll always feel a little bit behind the ball.

but i'm working with it. happy cause i'm full with the 'itis, and cause i can still remember how good my dinner was at the mexican place the other night. happy cause me and my friend made it to the convenience store and back to the movies just in time to not miss the beginning. happy cause my new boots are broken in. happy cause the baby is healthy and cute and such a reminder of how precious life is. happy cause i have leftovers from the superbowl party in my fridge so i don't have to buy or make lunch tomorrow. happy cause somebody called me to hang out for the game (which, i might add, was the most boring superbowl i've ever seen - the highlight of the game for me was laughing with others at my comparison of to the si.mpsons' mr. bu.rns). happy cause i got to support the something new movie (which i enjoyed and may blog about later) during opening weekend (which is important for movies with predominantly black casts - to let hollywood know that we like seeing positive images of ourselves on screen). happy to get a chance to play with my best friend's nieces and to talk about personal spiritual growth with my friend from college and happy to find out that i'll get a tax refund, and happy to see the movie glory road (which i hadn't heard enough buzz about, but which i really really appreciated seeing).

i mean, to type it out and look at it, sheesh, i got a lot accomplished, and i even managed to get some decent sleep. i don't think i could have asked for much more. being me is a full time job, though. i wanted this hustle and bustle - be careful what you ask for, cause i sure got what i wanted! i feel tired - i feel the good kind of tired. i feel loved and as if i have loved. i feel accomplished and i feel hopeful. it's a good way to start the week. and as my birthday gets closer and closer, i hope this hopeful feeling gets stronger and stronger, so that i can start my new year off with the right attitude.