Thursday, February 16, 2006

tennis shoes

the first term i learned for athletic footwear was "tennis shoes." never mind that no one in my life played tennis, or even desired to play tennis. that's just what they were called. then my family moved from the south to the northeast and i learned that "tennis shoes" was country, about as country as the accent i learned to drop, and that the real name for those shoes was "sneakers," or if i really wanted to be down, "sneaks."

sneaks are on my mind this morning as i think about staying active, and stepping my game up. i haven't been writing much lately, outside of the blog. i've been socializing and regurgitating old pieces, but writing? not so much. i've been here before. it happens cyclically - at one point, i have lots to express... and then all of a sudden i look up and i haven't written a decent poem in weeks. i'm in one of the silent parts of the cycle right now. i've been kind of distracted by the other concerns in my life - health, business, networking, collaboration, bla bla bla. but i haven't felt the pride of turning out a skillful set of words in some time now...

and i want to. i'm ready for my expressive part of the cycle to come back. because i've been hearing some poetry lately that makes me want to scorch pages, make people cry, make people rethink themselves and their world. i've even got some themes scribbled on random post-it notes throughout my marble composition notebook (the back cover has recently fallen completely off) that i would love to expound on, but i can't yet - not until the words come. when they come, i hope they come in different styles. i hope they represent a growth in my ability to get it said and get it said in a way that reaches into people and makes them listen, if for no other reason then because when they hear the words, it's like they're listening to their own voice, coming to their face, grabbing them by the collar, and saying, "this is what's real. deal with it." i love to express the feelings that often go unsaid because no one takes the time to articulate them. my mom told me she heard yesterday that people should find out what they do well that others have a hard time doing. that's how they'll know what they're sposed to do. somehow, for someone, my job is to tell their heart for them. that's why i love it when people tell me that that's what i've done.

but i have to continue growing in that skill or it will waste. ever read who m.oved my i gotta keep my sneakers tied around my neck. ever ready to write. gotta keep finding new ways to put words together to tell the hearts and minds of us. or i'll get complacent. ungrateful for the ability to do so. and lose a gift that shouldn't be lost.