Wednesday, February 08, 2006

a few notes

thought about you again today. i'd settled into my seat for the evening out amongst fellow familiar faces, and for a fleeting moment, i felt lonely for you, because the couple in my presence seemed so comfortable and cute. but before i had a chance to get my emotional pout on, my mind imagined you telling me to relax and just have a good time in the interim between that moment and finding you. so i did. no sense in having a long face when you come across me, right? chin up, shoulders relaxed, i had a good time performing with and bonding with my peoples. thanks for the advice.

and i know i've not been the best to myself lately. my skin and hair reflect the bad diet and lack of exercise and scarcity of sleep and water intake, and i notice it every morning, but i just haven't taken the initiative to take the time to be good to myself. i am better to my dishes, my plants, even to the inanimate objects in my place that need to be dusted, and i'm sure i could be doing better. i'll be honest, i've been a little uninspired about my health and appearance lately, recent resolution to eat healthier notwithstanding. time always seems so short, so i've been eating for convenience instead of nourishment and i can see the difference, and i just know you would be shaking your head at how i've been treating myself. i won't even share with you what my last meal was. hey, i'm really sorry. i'll try to do better. for myself, not for you. but i'm sure you'll appreciate it when i take the time to love myself more.

i'm not worried about next tuesday. i have plans. i'll be at a poetry slam with friends, enjoying myself. i hope you enjoy your day. if you're with someone right now, enjoy her - learn from her - be good to her. if you're not with someone, be patient. that's the best i can say. i'm trying to do the same from here. we'll find our way to there eventually.

just wanted to send the positive energy to you, wherever you are right now. i know you do the same - that's why i feel you in the early morning fuzziness that is the trailing dust of my dreams, that lingers after what dust is left has been rubbed out of the corners of my eyes.

take good care of yourself.

the reason you still believe in love