(a warning - i have some expletives in here today, cause it's just how i felt while typing this gripe, which, i'll warn you, is long, and all over the place. i'd like to add that i think i probably contradicted myself in here a few times. it's okay if you point it out, i don't mind. i reserve the right to have imperfections and bad logic. this is a rant, after all, not a doctoral thesis.)
sometimes, i get tired of this black shit. really sick and damn tired. sometimes i just want to take a vacation from this shit, really.
i go to turn on the radio in the morning to hear some music on the way to work, forgetting (again) how much i hate all that cooning on the ignent ass to.m j.oyner morning show and the country ass ste.ve harve.y morning show. tired of all those clowns in music videos representing black men to our children and to the world like buffoons who are fascinated to the point of lost sense with shiny objects, including diamonds, gold, platinum, and hypersexed butt naked women.
i'm tired of the co.lor purp.le, which is sure to be in the top five list
i just didn't have
now something new was a cute little movie. i made it a point to support it during opening weekend. i'd heard the radio ads, seen the billboards, caught wind of the
why didn't we want to see this movie? why did we choose m.artin law.rence in padding in a dress over sana.a lath.an and company? a brother was talking about this movie, and how he wouldn't go (in the midst of a whole boatload of things he felt like complaining about as a black man). he said that he didn't want to witness
maybe people get tired
of always bringing it back
this movie (and some of sana.a lath.an's interview comments) incited responses by black men who are all employed, educated, outside the penal system,
the bane of the single professional black woman's existence
just one day, i'd like to know what it's like to be a single woman, and not a single black woman, lowest on the totem pole of single women who are likely to marry, because even black men don't like me or don't "qualify" to be with me. i mean, it comes up all the time. and people love to fall back on that because they don't see me as unattractive or mean or repulsive. but does the problem have to be the black numbers game? could it possibly be that whatever relationships
we are people,
and see, it's that we are people thing that gets me. it's just not true. we are, more often than not, not just people who happen to be black - we are black people. there's a part in the movie, something new, where the possibility of being able to just live life without the ever-present burden of race/class dynamics hanging over your head is addressed. i could choose to try to listen to "white"
we're not just people
who happen to be black
this legacy is a heavy load. i'm just saying that sometimes i'm only carrying it 'cause i have to, not because i would if i had the option not to. don't get me wrong, i love being brown - i love who i am and where i've come from. it's just i could do without some
it's exhausting sometimes
but it is what it is. as much as i cry out for the chance to experience humanity without the burden of race/class politics, i know that those politics shape everything about me, from my upbringing, to the decisions i make on how to wear my hair, to the food i eat, to the way i express myself, to the postage stamps i use - i and my blackness are inseparable, whether or not i want a vacation, and though i may complain sometimes, i wouldn't have it any other way. and the truth is, every one of every culture carries their culture with them every day, like a thread running throughout a tapestry. it's just the circumstances of my birth made me a minority in perhaps the most racially charged place on earth, which heightens my (and my people's) self cultural awareness more than your average bear.