Friday, June 02, 2006

lots of stuff

lots of things going on with me. my schedule has been... interesting, lately.

i realize that i don't work best under pressure - i ONLY work under pressure.
i realize that sometimes you need to just listen to what other people have to say 'cause if you leave it up to you, there's stuff you won't even notice about yourself.
and friendship is priceless.
and likeminded thinking can be such a comfort - to know you are not the only one is so affirming.
i love the way summer rain smells.
i missed having thunderstorms, and i'm glad that they're back.
driving over a bridge with lightning striking everywhere is scary.
never underestimate the value of a good view.
plantains and ice cream go good together - no, really!
appendicitis is more common than i thought.
so are root canals.
funny how you realize what you miss sometimes.
really funny how sometimes you think you'll never come home again... but you do.
scheduling is not easy.
and the world of words is at my fingertips - should i be poetic, prosaic, introspective, motivational, entertaining? should i act, screenwrite, or only publish?
how come sometimes waiting for the other shoe to drop is matter-of-fact...
but then how come other times it just feels pessimistic instead of realistic? optimism can be scary sometimes, but my gosh, it can be a comforting thing...
toys are cool.
i hope that if i'm ever in the hospital that people come to visit me.
i am my biggest obstacle. ain't nobody tried to hold me down. i'm blessed and highly favored - ax about me - but any lack of increase is pretty much 'cause of me.
i owe myself more.
i owe my children more.
i've been a mother ever since i realized that i was capable of bearing children.
many of my life decisions have been influenced by my fledgling relationship with these strangers.
i see the way i live my life as the foundation for whether or not i will be able to have something of value to give to my legacy (who has not asked to come here).
the more i think about it, the more i realize these women don't know their worth.
they don't.
these men don't know their worth either. and the ones that do are passed over way too often by women who underestimate themselves and these men - to their detriment.
if you don't love yourself, how can someone love you?
how can you invest the right energy into loving them if you're spending too much energy working hard to care about yourself?
loving yourself shouldn't take so much energy, 'cause you should be well practiced in that art by the time you try to love somebody else.
it's like how magicians work really hard to pull off the illusion, so that they don't have to work on the trick - they just do it, so they can focus their energy, and ours, on the magic.
i love when people make you want to be better and grow as a person - simultaneously taking your focus off yourself and still focusing on how their eyes view the goodness in you.
i hope - often - that people see themselves as i do.
i see such wonderfulness in people. it's there if you just look.
i'ma stop here. you probly got other blogs to read today...
thanks for coming back, even though i been so quiet for like a week.
have a good weekend!