Friday, June 23, 2006

karma and stuff

Is it possible to squander karma? The Bible says that you reap what you sow. Hindus believe that you will receive what you give. I know that if you walk down the street and you smile at people, you are likely to get some smiles in return. I also know that people you don’t appreciate are less likely to appreciate you. I believe in karma, the exchange of energy, equal and opposite physical reactions, the innate tendency of creation to seek balance in all things… but I wonder if that can be interrupted…

I was told by someone I really respect – someone who really respects me – that there are people who would be oh so willing to see me flourish because of what I have done to support and encourage them. And that these same folks could and would do things for me if I needed their help. And that all I’d have to do is ask. But I haven’t been asking, and I should be. I should be growing and making moves without hesitation while there are people – resources – available to me. I shouldn’t wait until later, because I should recognize how important timing is. It got me to wondering about how I would really be disappointed if my folks would be weary of waiting for me – or perhaps even worse, so far around the curve that they’re too busy for me - by the time I decided to grow and ask for help. No one owes me anything. But because one of the roles I like to play is cheerleader/sounding board/impromptu support staff, I suppose karma is waiting in the wings for me to give it a chance to fulfill its purpose.

I have to ask though: what if I never get around to asking for the help? What if the roles I play are played because I simply like what I do? What if I lack the focus or energy to birth a vision that would require me to ask for help? Would the karma shrivel up and die a frustrated death? Would it simply manifest itself in a different form, like money found in the pockets of last summer’s jeans right when I need it, or like a passerby helping me with a heavy box when I’m all alone trying to lift it by myself, or maybe a compliment at the right time from the right person on a bad hair day? Perhaps karma is the feeling I get when I know my encouragement helped keep someone going when things were challenging and difficult – that feeling that makes me appreciate my existence and feel like I’m fulfilling some divinely given purpose. Maybe it’s all of those things combined. Maybe not so much.

Maybe I’m just trying to deflect the responsibility for living my purpose away from myself.

I was talking with the smart people yesterday (I prefer the company of eagles to sparrows as often as they let me fly with them, convincing me to embrace my eagle-ness) and I heard some valuable stuff. First, if you’re going to be different, you might as well ‘do different’ to your heart’s content, because those who won’t accept your difference won’t be any more accepting of you if you attempt to minimize your difference. And those who are seeking difference won’t be able to distinguish you as different unless you have the boldness and wisdom to truly distinguish yourself. Also, if you really want to support the soldiers in a movement? Fight alongside them, respecting the concept of critical mass. That’s food for thought…