Thursday, May 25, 2006






oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, caterpillars and butterflies, i have finally gotten enough focus to turn inspiration/experience into new poems! i'm so tickled! and it's about time, too. i was starting to get worried.

and one of the pieces is what i would consider a stone cold, not meant for the paper only, get on a mic and do the dayum thang spoken word piece. not my usual thing. i like to write stuff that can live and breathe without being uttered. it just so happens that while i'm writing, i read my poems out loud so i can make sure i'll like the way they sound, even if i have no plans to put them on the mic. but this particular piece has to be - must be - uttered. i don't think it really serves its purpose on paper, - it's so simply written, and frankly, so boring on paper to me, that if feel that it must be vocalized - in fact, when i wrote it, there was no question of its purpose in my mind. i'm a little nervous. excited, but nervous because performing this piece will bring stuff out of me that i'm not accustomed to sharing about myself.

it's not that i don't honestly give of myself when i'm out at the open mics, and it's not like i don't express my personality when i'm reading my stuff... i mean, my words are a part of me, so the very act of reading them is a revealing thing. it's just that, like all of us i suppose, there is much more to me than what people who only see me at open mics see when i'm on the spot, sharing. and this new piece will push me to show a little bit of what's underneath the pseudonym and public persona. and i'm nervous about whether or not i will have the courage to let loose in the seconds before i open my mouth... or if i'll punk out and change my mind at the last second and read some of my other pieces - all of which i'm tired of. i'm hoping for the best. i believe good things can happen when you force yourself to try new things.

but so much else is new in my life! i could run down the list, but i don't wanna bore you all. this is definitely a season of change for me, and maybe that's why the stagnancy of my writer's block seems to be breaking, and maybe that's why the words that have most recently come out of me are challenging me to step up my courage in the performance department.

in any case, i'm happy for the creative spurt. and excited to see where it will take me...