Tuesday, May 09, 2006


i couldn't help it.

i was in the car this morning, and pulled out my ja.ckson fiv.e cd, and was chillin, enjoying myself... and then "got to be there" came on. this song!!! oh my goodness - it stops time for me. it always has. there is an innocence and a caring within the lyrics to this song that is simply exceptional. and when michael gets to the, "i need her sharing the world, beside me" part - more often than not, especially when i pay attention to the lyrics - i start to cry like i did this morning. as i type this, there are tear streaks on my cheeks. those words, and more compellingly, those notes are so clear, and so powerful, and so very pure...

maybe a little too saccharine. and maybe i'm a little too emotional. but i don't really care, 'cause this is who i am. i cry when a voice does some that in just. such. a way. i can't even remember ever being any different.

and don't let me hear a children's choir. i can't sit still - the whole time those babies are singing the Lord's praises, i'm busy reaching for tissues, wiping my cheeks, wiping my nose. trust me, if i had a choice, i wouldn't do it. afterwards, i always feel all crusty, so i search for a mirror and maybe some hand lotion or something. then i think about how silly i must have looked carrying on like that. but it's totally involuntary. it's something that just happens when voices paint the audible picture of innocence so truly and so clearly. it touches the spirit inside me, and the joy spills out in silent saltwater streaks. i feel it in my chest, something that makes me feel full, yet light enough to float...

even though i feel silly, it's okay. i like that about myself. when that happens, i feel connected to the Creator - like the spirit of Himself that He placed in me is alive and well and carries His characteristics of appreciation for something pure and good. it's a humbling feeling, because i can't override the tears. i can't override His spirit. there is indeed something more powerful than me, and the good news is, it - He - loves purity.