fam

i wrote this some time ago, on another blog. here is an edited, updated version:


a reason to write

my favorite cousin feels more like a brother to me than a cousin, even though we grew up hundreds of miles apart. we were raised similarly - his mom and my dad are sister and brother. i love him to pieces because we get along so well. we played together in the summers that i left concrete jersey for grassy virginia. i'd watch him play video games for hours. i even like arguing with him ('cause he lets me win, 'cause he thinks i'm too tenacious). it was fun watching him grow from a boy to a man. i'm two years his senior and i used to be bigger than him... not anymore. but he still allows me to pull rank sometimes - humoring me. i love him for that. because i only get to chill with him sometimes - his maturation is always impressive to me. i love his mind - the way he thinks, how he's matured and learned to control his temper better, how he so very obviously loves his wife, who is a wonderful woman - i'm so proud that he's chosen a life companion well. i love how concerned and protective he is over his baby sister and i love how it's obvious that she loves and looks up to him. he makes me laugh, and he makes me feel like i'm not really an only child. he encourages me in my endeavors, gives me guy advice, asks me for advice, (values my advice) believes in me - does all the things that a good friend would do. he's awesome. i tell him, not as often as i would someone else, 'cause i can't kill all my cool points with him, that i love him dearly. even though we fought as kids, and argued, and he was selfish with his toys, and acted like a big baby that time he got sick and i had to do every little stupid thing he asked 'cause his mom had to work. i've forgiven him for all of that. one of my favorite pictures of all time is of me and him before either of us was even in school. i put my arm around my lil' cousin and we cheezed, looking like two little geeks. with my ponytails on each side of my head and with his alligator polo and white stripy kneesocks on... LOL!

now he's in the army.

he's in iraq for his second stint.

he reads my blog. and was inspired to start his own. even though that kneegrow ain't posted in like a month, i kinda let that go, considering the extreme circumstances.

and one day, he posted this in response to my thanking the people who read my blog for reading it:

no, thank you for doing what you do. for some reason everytime i have a down day out here you write somethin that shows me a world i don't know and brings me thru. thank you cuz

i almost cried (i didn't, though). but i wasn't no.mo.good. i think i'll be high for the rest of the week on that. 'cause that tells me that my writing gives one of my favorite people in this world something to look forward to while out there in the desert, in the middle of a war, away from his wife and family. his comments give my words importance. and i don't even know what to say to that except that i'ma keep on writing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUZ.